martyrdom: (with reference to yours truly) when your mom decided you are her life size doll, and attempts to dress you up as such.

right now she is attempting to dress me up cowboy style. this wouldnt be so bad if she hadnt decided that i should be a cowgirl a la madonna kinda thing where you bare your navel. dad is aghast/amused. brothers are swearing to avoid looking at me for the rest of the night. i am swearing to avoid looking in the mirror.

dread: that little sinking feeling that you get when your mother advances towards you with the intent of tying a bandanna around your neck and there is no way you can escape because walls do end in corners and you're on the wrong side.

alegria....
effortless and beautiful :)

melnyel

randomusings103

keeled over:
you're making me lose myself again.
and you sound jaded -
through a bunch of pixels
i can hear your thoughts.

kneeled down:
my head's spinning
im striking out
wildly
for some form
of self-control,
some semblance
of tape
to hold my
splitting
head[ache]
together
again.

hold me
hug me
hush.

i have been dead to the world for two hours straight. i now have a whopping headache. someone give me an overdose. please.

and brother can run 11 km in 1h 15mins. he is not human.

lanning takes a toll on the spirit :P you get stoned. really, really stoned.

found a christmas card at cyberia that i supposedly left behind. because SOMEone didnt pass it to me. *glare*

amusing quote of the day: "prit'm is a singh unless proven otherwise."

lol............


and btw. night watch rocks. finished reading it in borders :)

bits and pieces:

silent sweet susserations
coming through my ear and
out
the other side.

listen to me.
yet advice is not
heeded.

hand on hand
wheeling into the sun
product of your own stubborn mind.


ivy
Entwining 'round your ears and eyes,
Speak no secrets, breathe no lies.
Choking gags of green leafed glory,
Tells instead a different story.


product of rained-in nights and confidences.


i. feel. absolutely. nothing.

btw. the latest discworld novel by terry pratchett, Night Watch, is out. it is good :) vimesy rocks :)

crashed my head on the door frame while getting into the car. nearly broke my neck.
crashed it again on the lamp while ironing.
love myself.

i now have a 3315 that looks like a 3330, thanks to some case switching. yay.

tired. you know why...

went out to the masonic club for lunch :) courtesy of dad...

my god...my HEAD. hurts.

i think im sick

phoenix

Your avatar has come,
white flame and fire,
ghostly zephyrs surrounding it,
whipping its raiment and
fanning its flames.

i am ready, my Lord.

punish me for my sins,
for your creation must feel pain,
to purge the taint of executed sin.
to live, one must be reborn,
so you melded the flame and the wind,
to one entity.

let the wind blow away my sins,
wash me free.
let the flame come down,
burn me.

un[cert]ainty

i dont belong,
for all the time i've been here.
is it just me,
my mind building walls in the sky?
preconcieved fabrications,
or the truth i never faced?
i never dared to.

pussy-footing
around people.
that's normal.
pussy-footing
around the grey area
of people relations
now that's dangerous.
sooner or later
everything
turns to
sand.

you need
a certificate
of acceptance,
to be brought
into the fold/
the society/
your world of today.

please dont ignore
this tiny cry
this little plea
from the very beaches of certainty

i am only human,
after all...

awk. jaw freeze.

am seriously considering giving up on my music folder. its huge, and i cant think how i organised it in the first place. consequentially its getting a bit hard to place all my files. urgh.

have noticed that my posts seem to get more succint and...well...pointed as i go along. perhaps i now do not feel the need to let everyone know how many times i breathed, where i went....etc. oh well.

mood of the moment - deep blue funk
music of the moment - if i had a choice, it'd be the same. as it is, im listening to saint-saens - danse macabre

incidentally my mom mispronounced preet's name. am slightly cheered by that =)

eventful. day.

ambled around plaza sing and meridian, getting hopelessly lost looking for music essentials. went lanning afterwards, then dragged tim down to claud's place. highly amusing handphone incidents.

brought hammies back. or hamster. 2 died. and the other got sat on. so now i have no hamster. *sigh* no more fuzzy hammie.

music of the moment - keyboard
mood of the moment - resigned, sad.

music of the moment - angel's carol
mood of the moment - patient

images.

of running out into the see, following an enigmatic figure, androgynous (in my mind, perhaps?), running through the salt-warm, blood-warm waves, watching the waves turn clear just before they recede, leaving the murk behind...
let the waves throw you out, and let the undertow drag you back in...

picking stones, tossing them back, keeping them for the beauty they possess in themselves, the beauty they somehow lose after that small moment of wonder, that point and place in time where you pick it up, gleaming, wet from the sand, and possess it. but you cant possess it, that small fragile thing, that will somehow outlast you forever, if only in memory...


you stand in the middle
of that fast-flowing stream,
cold, ice-cold,
running,
and you direct its waves
to your will.

what nature takes years,
eons, to achieve,
you accelerate,
eroding.

but you only know how to destroy.

take one more step,
up to the bank;
take one small step
to a new point
.
of view/ of place

i'll be waiting there
my little shaper,
drawing patterns in the sand.



curled up in your embrace,
dire? i hopenot,
for i have given all,
my dreamer,
and yet i would give thee more.

i am content
to stay here -
you own me
utterly,
even the semblance
of rational thought i call
myself.

caress my cheek,
my sandman,
and let me die
with your kiss on my lips,
an echo
a dream.

i have drunk a lot these days. now nursing my red wine. *grin* havent gotten drunk yet....:P

desaru was fun. i indulged in sloth. finished reading eco and some economists. its nice to snuggle down in bed when it rains, or the sofa. but i want someone to hug.......*muah*

there was christmas eve dinner organised by the hotel (grandpa's luck didnt wear out - we won 2 hampers and gave back one :P). but i didnt really like the singing, so i went off and sang my own carols. that's my way of celebrating christmas eve i guess :)

*holds up wine glass* merry christmas everyone!

btw. claud's blog reminds me. LOTR WAS GREAT. lotr 2. the two towers. the cgi was fantastic, like the ent battle and helm's deep. the deeping wall was....well, lets just say that the olympicity was not needed. and they screwed up a few lines. like gandalf's lines were given to eomer (the bit about where wormtongue was to take his prize when the battle was over - eowyn, and how his eyes were always on her), theoden king yells "forth helmingas" and not the proper "forth eorlingas" (the helmingas were the men of westfold). i mean at least get the lines right! gandalf, in fangorn? or rather, meeting merry and pippin?? eh??? else, good one :P

i find it sad though, that theres this whole host of people who are fans of lotr because of the movie, and dont love middle earth for what it is. i mean, theres people who love the movie (who doesnt? i certainly do), but its just the movie, the special effects and all that they like. they dont read the book, they dont understand it, and in a while, they forget about lotr. well, mebbe not so drastic, but still. read the damn book. understand WHY peter jackson (the great :P) wanted to make the book into a movie. love the elves, read the silmarillion, read ALL the damn appendixes, read quenya! its the little details that makes it so fantastic.