debate was ok. bloody train driver didn't open the back doors to let us on since the front was packed full, so she just drove off )(#%(*@%&. saw nicol and mel so that's ok :)):):):):):)) am happy.

random smiles on the train can be awkward and embarassing.

ok so after the horriying ordeal of sleeping two hours and being surprisingly perky in the rest of my waking hours and only sleeping 8 hours to make up for it because i ate sugarencrusted cereal (smartstart and cinnamon toast ftw) so i couldn't sleep, i am somehow alive. never leave philosophy papers till the last minute. i was surprisingly awake, but woke up at 0855 for an 0900 class and zombied my way through it and the rest of the classes that followed. debate today, and i am not particularly confident. had a decent debate yesterday, but somehow i believe i will need more sleep to be decent.

so i will write down things i observe here.

my door ticks like a spring every time it creaks open due to the wind, or you pull it open. two weeks ago, fall meant a burst of fallen acorns (there are acorns here! often without their little caps, but yeah) divebombing cars. now fall means "wtf how is that woman wearing a spag strap it just rained the ground is wet and it's COLD" (18ºc out). fall means eating blood red drops of summer while lying on a rug listening to disney songs.

saw a pigeon crossing the road via the zebra crossing, no joke. at every white stripe it'd stop and peck at something. squirrels cross the road differently - they use electric wires. saw one run on one of these man-made highways to the pole and run further up the pole to cross the road to get to the other side.

strange dream, last night. really odd.

i had something to say but i forgot. thought of the day second, that's me.

on a side note my quacky adium sound notification is highly amusing when it shocks my friend.

on a bad note my macbook is scratched :( poor ishyoocow.

on a breezy note it's bloody cold out.

i should be doing work.

i fucking HATE stupid "please say you details" automated answering services. i KNOW they're for the benefit of those who don't have touch tone dialing, but when it gets to the point when eating doritos translates to "account services" and silences equate to "99908", fuck that i just want to talk to a bloddy operator! one who won't think eating doritos means a vulgar slur on your unfortunate parentage.

so frustrated.

so fall is coming. the leaves are subtly turning colour [i write in the u in spite of my new language over here mm], and everywhere you see their carcasses. little vestiges of a fled summer. the hedges are suddenly bursting with red berries, bright red rowan-esque explosions peeking out from behind thin green needles.

it's silent here today, everyone's gone back for rosh hashanah, my roommate's out up at godknowswhere tufts lodge somewhere in the mountains and i'm just watching trees whisper and sneeze to each other. i should clear up my room and do work, but i'd term that an exercise in futility.

so tell me, why do i think i can change the world? or fix people? when i can't even sort out my room or do my homework.

had insane crazy sugar high yesterday, following the time-tested-tried-and-true method of eating 4 scoops (or more) of ice cream just after exercising. so was running around and bouncing. if only that worked before a race >.<

today was a bad day. books hate me - i had to go to the bookstore twice to get a book replaced, my bag's broken as is my sandal (again! the glue doesn't work), and wallet fell out of bag as i scurried out of locker room at the athletic centre. i went back later looking for the bag bit that had fallen off and found my wallet in the locker room - i didn't even know it had fallen out.

of course i guess it was too much to ask that whoever was in there had left the money inside. i don't know, i was just angry and disappointed. angry at myself being careless again, not checking for things left behind, and disappointed that people around me who live around me would even do such a thing. i guess i give people too much credit. not everyone's honest. but it is a disappointment to find that out, i guess.

in any case, i wasn't happy heading out to run. no surprise. but i find running a good way to deal with things, or at least working out. you may start it in a shitty mood, but after you finish and the endorphins have finished whooping their way around your system, well, you may not feel fantastic or happy, but you do feel like you can deal with the shit that has been thrown at you.

and i guess i'm grateful that the bitch who took the cash (it was a lot of cash) didn't take the whole wallet. which would suck, as i had my visa cards and my school id in there. and i am definately grateful i deposited a lot of my cash earlier today. and it's also a good thing people owe me cash too so i have capital there. so yeah, silver lining and all.

it still sucks, but i can deal with it. *sigh* ok off to debate now.

its 1.35 am and i'm suddenly so fucking lost it's not even funny.


you could have had so much more.

banksy has an exhibition!

interesting things i just remembered/found out:

the eagles were the original ones who wrote also did a cover of the boys of summer, which is a pleasant surprise.

davidoff actually is a cigarette brand rather than a perfume brand. did not know that. (this i realised in germany)

tufts has this AMAZING AWESOME collection of the dali card lithographs. i am in love. its GREAT.

it's a balmy 25ºC out here today, wonderfully humid-ish and SUNNY and i'm listening to music and eating strawberries under a tree on the lawn, watching an ant wandering on my apple, with a breeze blowing. as you can tell, it's idyllic and i'm happy. it's wonderful. norwegian wood and sunday morning under the sun would be perfect, i'm working and i'm gloriously content. i love summer.

so, some thoughts:

the flag's still at half mast in the quad, and it's one of those things you notice when you're cold and freezing, and it sticks in your head. it hasn't left half-mast since sept 12 when i first realised it. perhaps there is a month of mourning for sept 11, but i really don't know, and no one really does, no one i've asked, not even americans.

philosophical musings at 2am at night can be wonderful, and pensively pleasantly pitiably sad. there's a generation of lost, degenerate and aimless kids out there who don't know what to do with their life, who have no aim, and are degenerate because they don't know anything else to be. what's even more pitiable is that they're aware of it, of their trap, but can't get out because of the inertia they place on themselves. there's despair there, the knowledge that they're on a self-destruct cycle but they can't get out of it because they see no point, there's nothing else for them.

archie's moths, all of them. brief flashes of hope, brilliance, love, and they spiral away, fade away.

and it hurts.

--

fly me to the moon by oscar peterson in the sun on the grass with strawberries. bliss. it's a good sunday.

everyone should read kahlil gibran. and haruki murakami's noruwei no mori.

music of the monment - tal buchman - she's so high
mood of the moment - pleasantly content

just back from running. damn, 5k seems so long now. ran it in 27+ which sucks balls. i think i need spikes, cleats, and fbts, and stuff like that. god i need to bathe. will be back.

omg i love my dorm its hilarious. so this cop comes on his dorm rounds and some how he ended up playing foozball with our residential assistant. and then a horde of my dormmates came by after drinking. trust me. it was funny. one of my friends said: "you're not a real cop are you?"

"yes i am. want to see how legal i can be?" *starts taking out his beat stick (truncheon like thing)

*friend sprints to the far wall with an utterly frantic and panicked expression on her face "oh my god he's gonna beat me!!! i was just kidding ok!!!"

ohh kay. so i'm back from surviving 3 games of beer pong (GO MARCH OF DIMES!) and so i'm kinda non-functioning. cross coutnry was good today, won first overall and first indiv with a new course record despite the heat and humidity. and the cross party was quite fun :) beerpong!

anyways. last night was fall ball, which i spent most of my time wandering around trying to find people. and sending smashed singaporean friend back to dorm. it was quite funny, especially since he kept insisting he wasn't asian but african. and stealing my scarf to wear.

oh gods i'm not thinking straight. oooh! i just got windows on mac, so can use c++and play games and shite. coolbeans.

and for all those mac purists out there who scream at the thought of windows on mac: screw you. too buzzed to bother.

oooooookay. so i woke up at 3 in the morning yesterday to take my shift at painting the cannon. for those who aren't in the know, painting the cannon (i.e. a cannon in the quadrangle centre grassy patch thing that has more than a hundred coats of paint is a tufts tradition) so my dorm painted our dorm name and logo on the silly thing using spray paint. and the thing about painting it is that you gotta make sure people don't come by half an hour later to paint over it so we had shifts until 5-6am in the morning. mine was 3-4, obscene it was. but fun :)

and i just got back from fall ball. basically an excuse to dress up and dance like mad and get drunk. no surprise, no? heh had to put friend to bed. now tired, have to get up tmr, will give more details if i can remember tmr. ciao

just got back from an acapella audition. was bloody nervous. it is 2.41 in the fucking morning. i have class at 8.30am.

in any case, am really excited about classes. they're awesome, professors are cool and funky and sardonic and some no-nonsense. i love it. i love the jazz class. its great its great its great.

saw girl run out to meet boyfriend while waiting for audition. one other girl summed it up for us: "aw. now i'm jealous".

which was quite amusing :)

k so i'm really fixated on the comp screen now and stadium arcadium is on really really loudly. yay for large bass speakers.


this is actually quite amusing :P

and red hot chilli peppers remind me of queen, in their variation and treatment of music, how they innovate in the same way. if you call it innovation.

music of the moment - red hot chilli peppers - stadium arcadium

so it's cold, and i'm in my friend's boyfriend's room, and they're being cuddly. the rest just left, and i've been in a sorta mildly ebullient mood as i meander to my random chores. red hot chilli peppers sum up my mood perfectly, and i don't know what i'm gonna do for the rest of my time here. i'll be back, winter break, and i presume after that i'll be ok. i'll be returning to somewhere familiar. the cold air from the open window caresses my skin, and i know more than ever i'm alone. i don't begrudge them anything, i'm happy for them.




Tell me baby what's your story
My heart
Where you come from
Your skin
And where you wanna go this time
This love

I'm in
Tell me lover are you lonely
We don't arrive, without a surprise
The thing we need is
You're right

Never all that hard to find

I'm wrong
Tell me baby what's your story
Where do you come from
Be free
Belong
And where you wanna go this time
Your so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind



I don't wanna have to, but I will,
If that's what I'm supposed to do.
We don't wanna set up for the kill,
But that's what I'm about to do.


music of the moment - red hot chilli peppers - hey
mood of the moment - ambivalent/pensive/wilfully deaf