now this is really what blogging is about. its about all these people dying to let others know about their little secrets that common (and i do mean common) society deems unfit/not polite/too smug/too self-centric to reveal. it's like hiding your cancer pills in plain view when people come over so they can notice and make a fuss over you and then you can play the tragic hero[ine] and revel in their pity and concern. and this canker in you just keeps growing, the need to be noticed keeps crying out, and you keep posting and posting.

it's all fake really. but it's addictive. just like downloading music off the internet.

music of the moment - savage garden - i want you
mood of the moment - ironic, really, what i'm listening to.

“CAPACITOR!” said a tree and blew up.

social circles social circles like windmills thr[e/a]shing you out from golden tall wheat to faint soft flour bone-white and blowing in the direction of each and every wind that puffs your way, unable to determine your life and unable to admit to anyone about anything.

AAUWMAGAWD so tragic! raikkonen's one lap loss...suspension failure! like hakkinen's 100m-before-the-line failure...ze paaaaiinn..

hehe the renault pit crew are amusing-cute. when massa went into the gravel they put their hands over their eyes...

nooooo the lions-allblacks match is on the 4th! i'll be in camp! GWARRRRGH.

wow class outing fun. but waking up to rama's (class teacher) practical joke isn't funny, especially when it says "i've talked to mrs chan [our P] and we've decided to suspend the whole class for 4 weeks starting monday. so for 4 weeks you're not to show your face in school, understand?"

NOT best thing to wake up to.

spent more time travelling around than doing stuff.

...there again. should i use my invisibility for good or evil?

heh 23-0. justin really goes nuts on the pitch, there's no other word to describe it at all. and jon yap was playing. he kicks ok yah.

had 4/12 class dinner after that. quite fun :D

very shagged. running at 11am is kinda draining, but i think it's also the rugby.

...and i'd give up forever to touch you
'cause i know that you feel me somehow...

would you believe people put up signs advertising "mathematics olympiad gifted education programme" for your kids? it's like they're plonking everything they can get in there in order to gain the business. all they lack is the IB programme.

but what makes it pretty sad is that people actually fall for these things.

on another note, banner painting be fun :D

"son, can you play me a memory,
i'm not really sure how it goes.
but 'twas sad, and was sweet and i knew it complete
when i wore a younger man's clothes."

a pile up on the chicane, a great bun fight finish, amazing leads, but the best bit were the stormtrooper outfits :D

speaking of which, ep 3 was quite fun. especially with the debate people and making fun of ben's royal guard outfit. nearly went clubbing but they dont accept student passes now :|

did you know mr rama took part in the big walk? MWAHAHAHAHAHH....

i think i'm too cynical. and i think i'm also very idealistic. what a contradiction. i'm most definately bifurcated (probably).

i'm hundred today!

i'm not making sense, am i...

slashdotdashdotdashdotdashdotslashdotdashdotdashdotcom

i have just eaten a banana cake so dense it could sink a ship. it's sitting in my stomach like a bowling ball and it takes a lot of effort to stay upright :|

on another culinary note, i have discovered an ancient relic: a jar of horlicks. considering i've not drunk horlicks since 4 years ago or more, i'm inclined to treat this like malt death.

music of the moment - bruce springsteen - streets of philadelphia

i'm very tired of myself...

wth. i have a 404 error from hotmail. claerly teh pwnt.

let it be so.

brother has brought back the "holy grail". it's a tub of hello panda, all 450g of it. think twisties or cheezballs kinda cardboard tube thing. i am happy :D mine!!! *runs from brothers*

hey, i take em where i can get em.

well, he's gone. do you know how hard it is to say goodbye, how hard it is to force yourself to see your friends name on the bright red tickertape scrolling across, telling you which hall he is in? you go up to class, thinking it's normal, you see every teacher there, your class teachers, your principal and vp, and you think, shit, what's wrong? did we do something wrong as a class? did a teacher complain about us? and then she starts talking and you think, no, no, not this, no, why am i crying, why do i feel like something's horribly horribly wrong, what now and then she says it and all you can say is "oh fuck" in this small voice and bow your head to the table and think of the friend you knew, the one who ate recess with you, who gave you encouragement and support and strength and made you laugh and you made him laugh and now he's gone.

i miss you. a lot. and i miss you more, because you're never coming back, at least not in the way that i know. i wish...for many things, all of them futile now. but we will all remember, in our own ways. we're keening pain, but i hope you knew. and even if you did, can you absolve us all? futile wishes galore - i hope i never have to deliver that again, to fight for control before i go up there and mumble platitudes that can't deliver, not ever, the things i want to say, that probably sound fake the minute i say them. so yeah. i hope you're where you always wanted to be now, and i hope you make peace with yourself.

2SB22005 forever[insofaraswecanwewill,ihope]

i was goign through my old chat logs to find an elusive video about 2 men and a piano and guess what i came across...:
bzzzzZZZZZZZPOW
our chem teacher would never condone this
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON because IRC is just multiplayer notepad.

feet treading the deep path inwards, holding a yellow flower, wondering what to say when i reach the end of the pilgramage for someone i never knew but should..

solongandthanks!forallthefissshhh...

looks like they be having lucasfilm problems with the l33+ video

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. why the FUCK does this happen to me. i dont i dont WANT to be people's burdens, but i am. and yet i want to shoulder all their burdens, i want to make the pain go AWAY, i dont want to make them cry before they sleep even though it kills me. i've turned them all away, i've fucking hurt them all, and i dont know how to stop it i dont know i dont want to play this game any more take it all AWAY. but i want everything to stay the same, the pieces to stay the same pieces, the pipe dream to remain a reality, no matter how faint.
can you make the pain go away, to dry the tears and stop the hurt. i'll take your burden from you if you want me to [even if it'll kill me].

can you give me a certainty, that you wont kill yourself by the time i get there?